Archive for July, 2009

say what you need to say

July 19, 2009

i’m fairly certain that bugs will eat me alive tonight thanks to a window accidentally being left open all day. i’ve never done well with bugs here in nashville. ever. but this summer seems especially rough as i am awake at 1:30 am and taking benadryl to help me sleep.

writing in the space has been difficult because i tend to only want to write about the experiences of growth and non-growth [i know that’s not a word, but it makes sense in my head] i’ve had over the past 6 months. and since i am a fairly open person, i try to write without saying too much and its far too difficult. being cryptic is not a gift i possess, i suppose. so while i have written here a few times over the past couple months, i’ve deleted most to spare you all from my streams of consciousness. you’re welcome.

after the wedding i was a part of last weekend, i feel like i’ve entered a new phase of progress and it been so freeing. thank god. memories are double-edged swords and while i recall things still daily, it’s just… different. i remember with much more detachment, if that makes sense.

being surrounded by so many girls who were married or about to be, i found myself extremely happy about where i am in life. it seems weird to say that, but its true. its not to say i don’t want that experience, but i just am comfortable with where i am and do not feel the need to control that part of my life after trying so damn hard to make it work in the past. i have many other things i can control which are more than enough to be focusing on. i will try to gear my future posts to such things. i feel certain i will have more to share as vague ideas are starting to take more tangible form. 🙂