Archive for May, 2009

look[ed] like the real thing. all the time/all the time.

May 29, 2009

i didn’t realize the significant of the date until i actually came to my blog and considered what to say.

4 months is a long while. not long enough that i do not have the occasional emotional jolt. but long enough to not remember the details like breathing. not long enough to not still experience that occasional moment of morbid curiosity. but long enough that i’ve learned who will give me the dose of Reality needed to let those moments pass [there are different who’s, that is for sure].


there are a lot of hurting people, as a friend and i discussed this week. i want to become more intuned to those around me who need what i needed so often in the last several months. i really want to be a better friend. a better listener. better at loving.

and i have a feeling i will always want to be better. will always need to be better.

thoughts on grocery shopping

May 28, 2009

its so strange to think back to the times when i bought groceries or ate food without a thought of any kind as to what was in it or where it came from. the challenge of becoming vegetarian turned into an entirely new lifestyle and one i completely enjoy… many of my friends are always curious about what i eat, so i thought i’d share what grocery shopping is like for me.

i generally go to whole foods. i am aware that not everyone believes they can afford to shop at whole foods, but i believe its possible. it may be because i am only shopping for myself, but i am able to make 2-3 meals out of whatever i cook. so, it goes a long way and i cut back on eating out, which is another bonus. i occasionally go to trader joes or kroger, but usually this is only for certain things that i know are cheaper or if i am being a little lazy about driving.

i almost always go with 2 recipes in mind that i want to eat for the week. tonight i wanted to make zucchini and black bean tacos and then also try sweet potato and black bean quesadillas with guacamole as well in the next couple of days. i got what i needed and then moved on to more of my staples: tempeh [for quick stir fry or to possibly add to either recipe], a little granola for my [soy] yogurts, some fruit, sprouted grain english muffins and pita pockets, hummus, no salt peanut butter that i grind at the store, a few dried fruit and nut bars, and some “treats” like a kombucha, salsa and blue corn chips and also some vegan chocolate chips for baking [and the occasional by-the-handful treat].

grocery shopping is kind of therapeutic for me. it gets my mind off of things and i could walk around for hours. i think i could actually go on a date to whole foods [is that weird? probably a little.]

i am approaching the two year mark and honestly, i don’t think i will ever eat meat again. here are a few things that i’ve realized i get super weird about now:

if i am at a cook-out, i request my own tiny space on the grill for whatever i brought. i just don’t like the idea of my veggie burger or vegetables being cooked on top of where a burger laid. and the spatula… i totally make sure cross-contamination is avoided 🙂

i get anxiety when the possibility of cooking meat crosses my mind. i decided i wanted to cook a recipe with meat in it for someone i dated. as silly as it may sound, i thought it was a way for me to show love in a sacrificial way and while it was something i assumed i would never do again, i totally considered it. he didn’t understand the underlying reasons as to why i offered and brushed off the idea, so i never did it. [and, well, let’s just say i am thankful for that.]

if i have kids, i really don’t want them to eat meat [going back to the whole anxiety thing]. i know it won’t entirely be up to me and i also would never force it if they were not happy.

so, anyway, i got asked a few questions about my eating habits while visiting family and thought i’d put this out there!

and, a teeny little vent: i don’t know why anyone thinks if there is meat in something, i should just “pick around it.” there, i said it.

put down your sword/lay with [M]e on the grass

May 14, 2009

Where are you finding sacredness?

The genius of the biblical revelation is that we will come to God through what I’m going to call “the actual,” the here and now, or quite simply what is.

The Bible moves us from sacred place (why the temple had to go) or sacred action (why the Law had to be relativized) or mental belief systems (why Jesus has no prerequisites in this regard) to time itself as sacred time.

“I am with you always, yes, to the very end of time” is the last verse of Matthew’s Gospel.


How have ordinary moments transformed me?

As Eckhart Tolle points out in The Power of Now, we don’t have to be in a certain place or even a perfect person to experience the fullness of God. God is always given, incarnate in every moment and present to those of us who know how to be present ourselves.

Strangely enough, it is often imperfect people and people in quite secular settings who encounter “The Presence” (Parousia, “fullness”). That pattern is rather clear in the whole Bible.

Let’s state it clearly: One great idea of the biblical revelation is that God is manifest in the ordinary, in the actual, in the daily, in the now, in the concrete incarnations of life, and not through purity codes and moral achievement contests, which are seldom achieved anyway


How do we live in the moment?

Let us be present to the now.
It’s all we have and it’s where God will always speak to us.
The now holds everything, rejects nothing and,
therefore, can receive God, too.
Help us be present to the place we’re most afraid of,
because it always feels empty, it always feels boring,
it always feels like it’s not enough.

Help us find some space within that we don’t try to fill
with ideas or opinions.
Help us to create inner space,
because you always show yourself best where we are
hungry and empty.
Keep us out of the way,
so there is always room enough for you.


//Richard Rohr


May 13, 2009

where is the reason? don’t blame it on me.
blame it on my wild heart.

[i think the heart broke long ago. thats when i needed you.]

i’m leaving.
you say i don’t even know how to start.


i’m looking for a little more than a drink and a walk up the street. i’ve got something more in mind…
you walk the world but most of what you’re looking for is under your nose.


May 8, 2009

when its quiet at work, i usually try to sneak in a few practice attempts at perfecting a rosetta.
we have a little event coming up in nashville which my co-workers and i will be participating in, and if any one knows me at all, i am ridiculously hard on myself and slightly competitive. honestly, i don’t want to win, i just want to actually make something that looks good.

i found this video tonight that made me laugh out loud. i thought i was the only one who cussed my [failed] attempts.

food, inc.

May 7, 2009

most people who know me know the food industry is something i have strong opinions regarding. i increasingly desire to become vegan, but its been hard to commit as i am equally concerned with being as low-maintenance as possible in social situations. [however, i think its inevitably going to happen the better i get at cooking and baking with non-dairy ingredients.]

anyway, seeing just the trailer for this new film ignited those convictions once again. for those of you interested in ways to experiment with changing the food culture in America, check this list out and try to see the movie if it comes your way. its a great list to experiment with, for sure, if you’ve not given this topic much thought or don’t really know where to begin in changing your lifestyle.

i am not necessarily promoting being meat/dairy-free, but just want people to be aware of what their choices actually mean for themselves, their families, the general public, the animals, the farmers, the food scientists, and the over-all direction our country is headed regarding food [or, shall i say, “food”.]