thoughts on work

November 5, 2008

for some reason our youth have not gotten used to the fact that the program i assist with has a new coordinator. this means that they call and demand to speak with me, and only me. i know its because they are used to me being involved in everything, but it does take its toll when other things are going on and i am not the only one who can provide them assistance.

today was nuts but i was sad to leave at the end of the day. i had a terrible headache. my “to do” list was not being attended to. i didn’t have time to prep for a support group meeting [nor did i feel like i had time to really be at this meeting]. i have a class to teach on saturday that i am a bit worried about and more meetings tomorrow and friday to prevent my work day from providing adequate prep time.

we had an amazing meeting at the main campus on the west side this morning and i was literally in tears a few times. over discussions of race and unity and hope and empowerment and change and possibilities.

later today we had our mom’s support group meeting. only 4 girls showed up but it gave me a chance to look inside the life of a young mother who really has no resources. no job which means no money or housing. no housing means bouncing from shelter to shelter. no transportation which means long bus rides. no money which means no child care, which means no job. and no car. and no… well, its a vicious cycle.

i want to fix their lives. i want to pretend for a day i can some how snap my fingers and fix things for them. give them the tools to succeed. i don’t have to imagine the latter, it is indeed possible to help them succeed. it just takes so much time and effort on both parts.

it is exciting to be a part of this program. i’ve gone through the ringer a lot. i’ve been stolen from. cussed at. threatened. but then i get surprise visits from youth who come by and tell me how much they appreciate me. i see them finding jobs and taking care of themselves. i see them choosing to spend money on things that matter and wait on impulsive wants. and it is very hard to fight back tears some times when they express gratitude or show progress… and when their situations seem hopeless and i have no idea where to even begin to help.

i am thankful to be a part of this job and program. its taken some time, but i am really glad to be around. i enjoy my co-workers. we laugh a lot. vent a lot. stress out a lot. but we are hopeful and we believe these kids can be successful. and thats what keeps it all together.

today, at least 🙂

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