Archive for November, 2008

November 24, 2008

i tried to go to bed early [10pm]
i laid there for quite some time. [11pm]
my mind finally stopped, and sleep greeted me.

as did one of the strangest dreams i’ve ever had about a severed foot still attached to my leg and an unrelated women’s sleepover at work.

i awoke [12:30am] and upon realizing this dream sequence, i heard knocking. multiple knocking. fortunately it was not at my door, though i did look outside to be sure. i then locked myself into my bedroom, hoping that the conjugal visitor was properly granted entrance at a nearby apartment.

like u crazy

November 19, 2008

the mind is it’s own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven. -John Milton

not ashamed, not one bit.

November 11, 2008

friend: hey
Sent at 8:19 PM on Tuesday
friend: if I’m drinking in a room by myself but Price is in the other room, does that still constitute “drinking by yourself”?
Sent at 8:20 PM on Tuesday
me: hahahaha
im drinking alone too
thats awesome we are so lame

darkness won’t destroy us

November 11, 2008


i think the fall is slowly winning me over. i’ve always loved this time of year, but i definitely am the brooding type and it always takes a little adjusting. i do believe i am ready to take on the early evenings and bright mornings [that i am finally able to sleep through until my alarm wakes me]. today i get keys to the new place which will begin a whole new rhythm of life for me. i will be .3 [literally like 30 seconds] miles from the Y, leaving me no excuses [at least for the winter time]. i will finally decorate a place that is MINE and not have to worry about delegating or hoping someone else likes what i pick out.

having keys this early makes me incredibly happy. being the control freak that i am, it will help me to know what type of space i have to work with as i start to decide what i need and it will also give me the chance to move stuff over 3 weeks instead of just a couple days.

here’s to re[new]al!

thoughts on work

November 5, 2008

for some reason our youth have not gotten used to the fact that the program i assist with has a new coordinator. this means that they call and demand to speak with me, and only me. i know its because they are used to me being involved in everything, but it does take its toll when other things are going on and i am not the only one who can provide them assistance.

today was nuts but i was sad to leave at the end of the day. i had a terrible headache. my “to do” list was not being attended to. i didn’t have time to prep for a support group meeting [nor did i feel like i had time to really be at this meeting]. i have a class to teach on saturday that i am a bit worried about and more meetings tomorrow and friday to prevent my work day from providing adequate prep time.

we had an amazing meeting at the main campus on the west side this morning and i was literally in tears a few times. over discussions of race and unity and hope and empowerment and change and possibilities.

later today we had our mom’s support group meeting. only 4 girls showed up but it gave me a chance to look inside the life of a young mother who really has no resources. no job which means no money or housing. no housing means bouncing from shelter to shelter. no transportation which means long bus rides. no money which means no child care, which means no job. and no car. and no… well, its a vicious cycle.

i want to fix their lives. i want to pretend for a day i can some how snap my fingers and fix things for them. give them the tools to succeed. i don’t have to imagine the latter, it is indeed possible to help them succeed. it just takes so much time and effort on both parts.

it is exciting to be a part of this program. i’ve gone through the ringer a lot. i’ve been stolen from. cussed at. threatened. but then i get surprise visits from youth who come by and tell me how much they appreciate me. i see them finding jobs and taking care of themselves. i see them choosing to spend money on things that matter and wait on impulsive wants. and it is very hard to fight back tears some times when they express gratitude or show progress… and when their situations seem hopeless and i have no idea where to even begin to help.

i am thankful to be a part of this job and program. its taken some time, but i am really glad to be around. i enjoy my co-workers. we laugh a lot. vent a lot. stress out a lot. but we are hopeful and we believe these kids can be successful. and thats what keeps it all together.

today, at least 🙂

yes [nashville] did!

November 5, 2008


for us westerners: love

November 5, 2008

St. Catherine of Siena in her Dialogues pictures the spiritual life as a large tree:

The trunk of the tree is love.

She says the core of the tree, that middle part that must be alive for the rest of the tree to be alive, is patience.

The roots of the tree are self-knowledge.

The branches, reaching out into the air, are discernment.

In other words, says Catherine, love does not happen without patience, self-knowledge and discernment.

In the western world, when the real issues arise, there is no spiritual discernment, little self-knowledge and almost no patience. Whatever the mass consciousness is, our people just kind of slip into it. And we lose another chance to love.

*taken from richard rohr’s Daily Meditations

is it really here?

November 4, 2008


tomorrow i will be nerding out as much as possible watching election coverage. yes, work will be involved but i am pretty sure we all will be a little less productive around the office. i plan on voting somewhat early, grabbing some free coffee, and for the rest of the day proudly displaying my feelings about the entire matter wearing the shepard fairey t-shirt that was given to me this summer [see above].

happy voting!

sample ballot lessons

November 2, 2008

so, i got something called a sample ballot in the mail a few weeks ago. i’ve never seen one before, and to be honest, i really didn’t get why i was sent one. i mean, i know who is running for president. don’t i just hit a button on the screen and call it a day? am i too stupid to know how to push a button?

i threw it away.

this weekend i realized why its important to NOT do that. it gives you the heads up on the other issues on the ballot, like voting for senators and state representatives. you know, those OTHER names you’ve seen on signs around town. oops. i really don’t know much about the possible senators or those running for the house of representatives in the Nashville district [#5]. i don’t think i should just leave those things blank out of ignorance, so for anyone else who wants to do a little research before tuesday here are some links to get you started:

the nashville sample ballot

lamar alexander and bob tuke on issues

On the Issues is a great place to check out voting records of many of the candidates listed.

Project Vote Smart is another source as well.

go vote. and remember, come to Crema on tuesday with your voting sticker for a free coffee. i don’t work that day but i will definitely be heading there after voting at the crack of dawn. the green machine is also giving away free coffee all across the nation on Election Day for voters. i actually think their commercial about it is really cool, but i already feel bad for the baristas. those stores are going to be ridiculous on tuesday.


since i am in the linking mood, here are a couple blogs i read regularly that will naturally show my barack-the-vote leanings. they are fun and informative.

Margaret and Helen [read this one]
Andrew Sullivan