For some reason I find myself freaking out a bit about the move I am making in a week. I don’t mind admitting this to myself or the world because I know its just a temporary feeling. I know that when I read this post in the months to come I will look back and be able to smile and laugh at how God has orchestrated this experience for my good and I will indeed see the goodness of it then. I really am confident of this, which is a rare thing in and of itself. But… right now I just want to run back to Union and hide in Patton 7.
I just do not want to be a grown up. I do not want to change. You see all these changes (geography, friendships, culture, community) are going to result in lots of ME changes and I am selfishly wondering if I want these changes to happen. God is giving me this amazing, AMAZING opportunity with some amazing people, to hopefully help others connect with Jesus and I hate that I am struggling with this… but I know what it is really about, deep down. I have become far too self-sufficient and I am realizing that this move is too big for even me to handle on my own. God is about to shake me up a bit, I think, and while its been a long time coming, it is perfect timing.
I got the recent Relevant Magazine in the mail today. The first article I opened to was entitled “Change is Good.” Here is what hit me in light of my current emotions:
My tickets are booked, my bags are (about to be) packed. The goodbyes have begun. I admit I am scared, but I don’t want to keep my head down anymore. I know that when I get to Vancouver, God will be faithful to show me in His time why He has brought me there… and encounters with Him result in transformation, right? Maybe change isn’t so bad after all. 🙂
Pray for me, friends!